Life Insurance

Think they offer Snoopy life insurance knowing he sleeps on the peak of a roof?

Handy Tip:



Hard core facebook users should remove the "Phone App" from their phones ASAP so it won't interrupt their facebook time.


Alone

You think you could be standing on a pristine piece of earth that no one  possibly could have been on before and you feel privileged, until you notice a cigarette butt peeking out from under your foot.

Scary people

Scary people shouldn't be TV newscasters, the news is scary enough!

The people who pay the bills in this country just showed up in Washington and they are pissed!




Vets storm Washington DC to return the Obama's Barrycades to the White House.

#

This thing has more aliases than America's Most Wanted... Pound, Number, Sharp, Octothorpe, Square, U+0023, Tic-tac-toe, and of course Hash.

Life is short

Life is short, sometimes you need to give it a little boost.

Stand out

I am going to stand outside, so if anyone asks, I am outstanding!

Compass

I am driving a brand new Jeep "Compass" and it doesn't even know what direction I am headed.

Cheek

The good Lord tells us to turn the other cheek. What he neglects to inform us is that sometimes we must drop our britches to do so!

The Survey Says

The US Government recently spent $350,000 dollars on a survey which shows that three out of four people make up 75% of the total population.

Always right

What ever happened to "The Customer Is Always Right"? Now you are only right if it is convenient for them and it is to their benefit.

Equal


We all are born equal, it is the path we take that determines who we become.

Gay Scouts

A Cub Scout just asked me

"If Gay Scouts are allowed to camp together, can I bunk with a Girl Scout?"


$5

Just for fun put a $5 bill in the take-a-penny jar and see if the very next person in line grabs in back out.

Full of thought

My brain is so full today that I am afraid it will spill over and I will forget my name.

Have a nice day

The expression "Have a nice day" can actually hold significance to those in need of a NICE DAY 

We all make mistakes

We all make mistakes, we just need to try and not make the dangerous ones.

Wining and Dining

Wining and Dining will always get you further than just Whining alone!

Eggs

Never put all your eggs into one basket, you may accidentally DELETE one.


Obama Care cards

I would like Obama Care cards to have my photo on them, so people can see who is paying their bills.

Please yourself

You can't please everyone, so you gotta please yourself.

Accomplishment

Effort and Accomplishment do not mean the same thing.