The first born is the center of attention until the second one is born. Then it is auto-pilot for the rest of life.

My birthday cards contained no food, no beer and no sex; I’m surprised I even opened them!

May the 4th be with you!

If you pull up under the traffic light so far that you can no longer see it, then how much time will that really save you when you can't see the light turn green?

If you don't like being corrected all the time, try living with someone who is always wrong.

When you are feeling down and out, try SKIPPING!

The only thing you can take into your future is your past.

Some people are just barely able to claim membership in the human race, common sense ought to be a prerequisite.

If you think health care is bad now, wait until it's free.

It's not a good sign when its noisy in restaurant.

Ever have so much on your plate that you can't see over the top of it to find the table?

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

If you gave me a penny for my thoughts, you would get short changed.

Kiss is not just just another 4 letter word, so kiss me!

Happy Valentines Day         

Life is but a large group of single days. Call today the beginning of your new mini-life. Now go out and make it special.

Under water the Fish don’t Stink!